Bill Belichick hates you and beats your mother

I am not from Boston. Nor was I raised to be a fan of any sport other than baseball. That being said, I always liked the Red Sox because they weren't the Yankees and they had a big wall in left field. The Celtics and Patriots, I couldn't have cared less about. I'm unsure whether or not the Bruins are even still a hockey team. When I got accepted to school in Boston, I was asked multiple times, "Oh, are you going to become a big Red Sox fan now?" I said no; I was unaware one could switch allegiances simply because one was going to go to school in a new city. I was born and raised an A's fan, and I wasn't going to turn my back on Lance Blankenship now. It SEEMS that many of the kids I met in college didn't follow that rule. All of a sudden, people from Maryland and California were lifelong Sox fans, living and dying by Vinatieri's field goals, and storming Fenway when the Sox took game seven from the Yankees in 2004. I, however, came and went the same way: like the Sox, know Larry Bird was on the Celtics, know Tom Brady's way sexy.

This year, that's all changed. I am absolutely loving the Patriots' dominance over the entire league. I'm not going to try to wax intellectual about this too much, because ESPN can do it with better insight, and deadspin can do it funnier, but the simple fact of the matter is that the Patriots hate everyone, and to me, that's tremendous. That they're so unapologetic, and so insistent on everyone getting pissed at them is the best story in the NFL. Bill Simmons, a few weeks back, talked about the eff-you touchdown the Pats have been tacking on to all the games recently. Those extra points that just aren't needed, but 52-6 is obviously much better than 45-6, and Brady's gotta stay in just in case. Up until yesterday, playing the Colts, the Pats had beat the spread every single game this year. The only people outside of New England that actually wanted the Pats to win at this point in the season were gamblers, knowing to bet on a sure thing.

And then came yesterday. Spread's 5.5, Patriots up by 4, and can kick a field goal with about 1:12 left to add the eff-you score. But instead, Belichick takes a knee four times. Why? Why not really drive it home to the team that stole the trip to the Super Bowl last year? Simple. This was Belichick's FUCK YOU to the only people that were still rooting for the Patriots - the gamblers. There's a very real possibility that he's such an asshole, Belichick actually thought it'd be more worthwhile to say fuck off to the few people left on his side than to the team he was beating. And there's a special place reserved for people as dick as that. It's called Awesometown, and Belichick just elected himself mayor.

And just like that, I have turned into THAT Boston sports fan. Just wait until I can't stop talking about KG and Pierce together.